The last few days have been an epiphany. Everything in my life is connected and changing one thing eventually drives a change in everything.
After months of half baked efforts to get my house in order I finally had a line drawn in the sand with the rental inspection this week. Then last weekend my best friend called and asked if he could come and stay with me for a few weeks while he sorts out a UK Visa (he’s an Aussie living in Hong Kong). He’s arriving on Thursday night! I was actually able to say yes. I’m so excited to get to spend this time with him.
Anyway, back to the topic at hand, too much stuff. My apartment was (and still is to a much lesser extent) stuffed to the gills with junk, clothes, books, DVD’s, handbags plus numerous other bits and pieces. I realise now why I haven’t been able to sort it all out. There’s just too much of it! I’ve been buying more and more stuff in an attempt to feel better, but it’s trapped me, reduced my choices in life and made me feel worse:
- Financially – this one speaks for itself, over $55000 in debt!
- Emotionally – I’ve been depressed for years now (actually diagnosed), I’ve always thought it was just chemical, but I now see how my environment has encouraged feeling as low as I have.
- Socially – I never invite people over to my house. I love to cook, especially for others, and I haven’t done that in months.
- Physically – The stress of living this ‘double life’ has really taken it’s toll, I’ve stacked on the kilos over the years from comfort eating, and the stress of it all has impacted my sleeping patterns for a while now.
The universe is really trying to show me something here, i.e. "you need to change and get your act together girly!" and I need to pay attention and act on the things I’m being shown.